This one’s been brewing for a long while, intermittently I will come up against this incredibly unbelievable situation, where neurotypicals respond to me with such erroneous and gross assumptions about my purported intent, it flabbergasts me. I’m talking, actually telling me what I did and what it meant.
I do think this is a neurotypical quirk, autistic people are straightforward and honest (not always the height of popularity with neurotypicals). We mean what we say and say what we mean. Not so with the average neurotypical.
But I just can’t get used to that reaction, it confounds and confuses me. How do they think like that? It’s illogical to assume someone has a game-play behind every word or sentence. It’s the height of suspicion and how do they not find it draining to communicate that way and analyse things in such a fashion!
So because they imbue my responses with motives they don’t possess, they judge me – or should I say, misjudge me.
Hence the neurotypical reaction, can be resultantly accusational and even aggressive. I wouldn’t mind so much, but many of these neurotypicals are in fact parents of autistic children! Is this the reaction they would wish for their child when they become an adult? Where is the inclusion, understanding, reasonable adjustment, tolerance, open-mindedness and forward-thinking in their reactions?
There is a term for this behaviour, it’s called projection – to be specific, complementary projection. It is judging people by your own standards, it’s tarring everyone with the same brush, it’s making assumptions – and it’s not on.
To do it to anyone is narrow-minded, but to do it to an autistic is ridiculous. We are supposed to be the ones with communication deficits, so to end this blog post on a lighter note, we autistics label you neurotypicals as having neurotypical disorder. 😉 And remember…
There endeth the lesson!